Category Archives: Keeper at Home

A Stay Home Mother

Last week, I shared some of my thoughts on facebook.  I would also like to share these thoughts with my friends who are not on facebook, therefore, I copy and paste them here….  The last section is my husband's response to one of these posts.

"When you are thinking back of how your life had been on your birthdays, that might be a sign of getting old…=)  Well, I didn't do it on purpose (hehe)….but after knowing someone implied that I had never work a day in my life, and do not understand the struggle of money for my family as other working women do….that get me to some thinking…

Have I ever worked? oh well….if a job has to have a paycheck, health benefits, sick leave, vacation time, job description, specific working hours, professional meetings with no one yelling in the background……no, I guess I never work then!  And what a wonderful husband I have!!  That he's able to support our family and I do not need to work!  God, thank you very much =)

At first, I feel a bit sad with a comment like this (the comment is not even pointing at me specifically, silly..)  But then, I realized I am actually very happy and content at this stage of my life, though nights are broken, days are swirling..

Oooops, just got a call from one of my clients, Mr Joshua, maybe I should find a chance to explain to him what vacation time means!! =)"

 

Another one :

"I'm so moved by what Josh Romney said about his mother after his mother was being attacked by the words 'never worked a day in her life'! 

He tweeted, “@AnnDRomney“ is one of the smartest, hardest working woman I know, could have done anything with her life, chose to raise me.”

Isn't this such a beautiful picture as said in Proverbs 31:28,

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

All mothers who chooses to raise her own children, be encouraged!!"

 

My husband's response :

"For thousands of years in human history, father and mother always have distinct roles in the home.  Different but equally important roles. In Scripture, God commands man to be the leader, protector and provider of the home; while woman to be the help meet of her husband, caretaker of the young children and homemaker.  If we observe tribal villages around the around throughout history, it is amazing that most people groups follow the biblical pattern. Indeed, the tribal groups may not enjoy the IPAD or xBox of civilized world, but they have emotionally stable children, closer family relationship and much lower divorce rate.

When industrialization and feminism were introduced, mothers started to enter the workforce en mass.  The society praises this phenomenon as “more productive”, “women liberation from the bondage of home” and “women equal to men”.  However, we observe our modern society now has very high divorce rate, broken family relationship, less children and more violent and disrespectful young generation.  Who’s to be blamed?  Both father and mother are responsible.

Men had abandoned their God-ordained leadership roles and pursued their career and hobbies, rather than spending time with their wives and children.  Women had abandoned their God-ordained homemaker roles and chose to work outside and leave their young children to daycares and public schools.  They have fallen into traps of thinking that they NEED the double income.  But the reality is that they have assumed a large mortgage or debt, pursued the latest gadgets and refused to live a simple and frugal lifestyle.  I can give personal witness, together with other homeschool families, that we have always live on SINGLE income. And we have on average 4-5 children, more than double the national average of 2.1.

I am so grateful to God that my wife Kay chose to stay home and raise our children.  She holds double degrees (technically 1.5) of computer science and integrated media.  Giving her creativity and talent, she could have made a 6-figure salary after 20 years in the field.  Instead, she spent her days and nights changing diapers, cooking, sewing, teaching and feeding the next generation.  What Kay is doing is 100 times more important than my job.  She is molding and training the next generation for God in this dark world.  Without her sacrifice, our children stand a slim chance against the secular worldview.  What’s more important, she is submitting to God’s will and plan on a family.

I do not condemn women who choose to leave home and work.  There are situations where the mother has to work outside and she is to be respected if she holds a hard and honest job. However, I believe we have to consider these 2 scenarios:

1. Double income.  More materials and more debts.  Less time as a family. Broken relationship between husband and wife.  Broken relationship between parents and children.

2. Single income.  Less “stuff” and no debts.  More time as a family.  Healthy relationship with everyone in the family.  More creative because of less resources.

Do you get the picture?  Mother who works outside is torn between 2 worlds.  She has to please her boss as well as taking care of the children.  In the end, she has to choose one over the other; or become bitter and frustrated because it is impossible to “serve 2 masters”.  I wish mothers everywhere would listen to God and consider their “career path” more carefully.

It is true that she does not manage a multi-million-dollar project.  It is true that she does not manage a team of 20 professionals.  It is also true that she does not have pension, benefit, vacation and all the perks a “professional” woman enjoy.  It is true that she does not get invited to company functions or “important” conferences.  But it is also true that her children and husband rise up and call her “blessed”.  It is also true that on the Day of Judgement, God is going to give her a reward, a crown of glory to show the whole world that she has obeyed the Lord by being a mother who “hasn’t worked a day in her life”."

Blessings

Psalms 8:1-4    O LORD our Lord, how excellent is thy name in all the earth!

who hast set thy glory above the heavens.

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings hast thou ordained strength

because of thine enemies,

that thou mightest still the enemy and the avenger.

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers,

the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained;

What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?

 

Psalms 127:3      Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD:

and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

 

Joshua, 7 months old

 

Melody, 2 years and 7 months old

Our Little Man – Joshua

They say, he is going to be a mighty strong man one day.

It is an interesting thought indeed……

A man as strong as King David, was once as tiny as this little man before me…
And a man as wise as King Solomon, was once as simple as this little cooing baby…
Even Jesus, the son of God, was once a sweet little helpless babe as he, my son…

How amazing the design of God is,
The seasons, the power of nature,
And the mystery of life…

If you think further, or say to the negative side,
A man as cruel and as evil as Hitler, was also once as innocent as this cute little baby….
With little fingers and little toes….and yet can shed blood of millions
With inviting and pure lovely smiles…..and yet a heart full of hatred

How can this be…?

Sad. Unbelievable. Horrible. Tragedy….
Just because of one word, one little word….as simple as ‘sin’.

My son, do grow up one day as a mighty strong man!
Be strong enough by God’s grace and love!
Be strong enough to hate sin!
Be strong enough to love even your enemies!

And be strong enough, to be a warrior, that fights for the glory of God!

Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

A Day that Put into Test

These days, I am preparing myself mentally to let go of the fear of childbirth. (Yes! After 6 times!! And I still have fear!!) Praying and meditating upon some Scriptures, and reviewing a blog that I wrote two years ago Childbirth:To fear, or Not to Fear. I thank the Lord that as days are closing by, He makes me more calm, peaceful and positive about what is lying ahead. I myself sure could not make myself to come to this state.

Then I came across this article the night before yesterday, "Today's the day" by Russell Board, and was encouraged by his words, without knowing that I would immediately be put into test yesterday.

"Yes, today is a gift. And it has my name on the tag. This present from God has been custom-made for me. God has filled it with blessings, some obvious and some in disguise. Its difficulties and challenges are tailored to fit my size. It may not be exactly what I asked for, but it is exactly what I need.

This day comes equipped with a set of fresh opportunities. In its joys and pleasures, I can show my gratitude to God. In its trials and temptations, I can prove my faithfulness to God. In its pains and hardships, I can demonstrate my trust in God. In whatever form, the day's events will bring opportunities for service to God and others, and chances to exhibit the virtues of faith, hope, and love.

Best of all, God Himself will meet me today……….." – Russell Board

The weather of yesterday was strange. We all expected it hot with a humidex of 40 degree Celsius, and it was!! However, after a few drops of rain at around 4pm, our place cooled down to 18 degree celsius. I thought there went to heat, but no, it started building up again! And the humidex was around 34 degree celsius after 5:30pm!

Then I received Derek's call around 6pm that he had a car accident. He didn't have his own phone with him, so he didn't talk much. All I knew was he was OK and he couldn't be home any time soon. Then I gathered the children to pray for Daddy's safety and thanks God for keeping him safe during the accident.

At around 6:30pm, a lady at CAA called and let me know that my husband was on his way to a collison centre with CAA, and he would try to call me when he was there.

Not long after this call, the sky turned black, and started to rain hard suddenly. It was raining REALLY hard, the wind was blowing hard as well! The wind was so strong that it really frightened the children. And the electricity was down. After we ran around and closed all the windows, I gathered the children again to pray for protection. Since we live in the country, we really see the power of nature first hand. We could see a big tree being knocked down in just seconds of strong wind…. So we prayed that God will keep us safe, and keep this property safe, and most importanly, we did not know if Daddy was on the road in this strong wind, so we prayed again that he would be safe.

During the prayer, I spoke from my heart that God would keep this baby in me during this time as well. Yes, I am 37.5 weeks pregnant. And I just received an email at 5:30pm before all this happened about our friend having her baby at 37.5 weeks. I couldn't help but thinking what if…..and I couldn't imagine if any car can drive in this kind of wind….and I just didn't know where my husband was at that time…. I was so tempted to fear, to tremble, because I could not think of a plan on my own if the baby did really decide to come at that moment. So I kept asking the Lord to give me peace and keep me calm, and He did. Then I thought I needed more prayers as well, so I called my mom and let her knew about the situation and she prayed with me immediately on the phone. After that, I served the children candlelight dinner, it's dark enough that we wouldn't be able to tell if there's a fly in our bowls.

We were so thankful that we did not need to wait for long before the strong wind and rain gone. But we kept waiting for Daddy's call. There's no calls from Derek. And there's no car driving up to our drive way. And I kept reminding myself, "Today is a gift".

At 9pm, I finally decided to ask the children to go to bed first. And that's the time we saw a CAA truck coming in with Daddy and our car.

Lord, we can only thank You and praise You.

And thanks God that we can all go to sleep peacefully last night though the electricity was still down at that time….

How could you………Monsanto?

When Melody woke up beside me this morning, she gave me her sweetest smile ever. Her eczema face is usually better when she first wake up, and this morning was the best of all…..

Then I thought of Monsanto…what a ruin of mood…

How could a company want to harm the health of such a sweet little girl….and why would they want to destroy the future of these precious little children..……

I can only mourn….

And I can only mourn over the children, the families and the lives that they have already destroyed….and I can only pray for those who are still living in hell because of them….

And I can only be thankful that I know the Lord, and I have hope that God is going to restore everything one day, and victory is in Him! If not, what is the meaning of living on in this corrupted darkened world….

Finally, we understand why God has to judge this world by fire next time, as not even a tiny little grass seed is the same as when He created it, everything is ruined….just ruined….by human’s greed and ignorance…..

Dead Leaves

deadleaves
Have you ever seen dead leaves among dead trees? They do not fall off.

The wind blows harder and harder, but yet, they stick to the branches….

Few months ago we had this tree being knocked down during a storm, and the leaves never bother to come down dancing on the field like the other maple leaves do even now. Yes, interesting enough, the wind can knock down the tree but not the dead leaves on a dead tree.

I always thought the leaves fall because they are dead and dried. Certainly, I was wrong.

Awhile ago our pastor shared with us the fact that the leaves fall only because there’s life within a tree to push them off. Therefore, for us, just make sure there’s LIFE within us, so then our unwanted ugly dirty sinful nature will be pushed off one by one without us ever thinking about how to get rid of them, as He will prepare us to bear fruits!

Fascinating!!!

John 15:4-5 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

I CHAI LIU!!!

Fear of unintentionally showing not enough affection to each of the girls, we specify each day of the week to one of our daughters. For example, Tiffany is our eldest, therefore, Monday will be our Tiffany day. And Tuesday will be for our second daughter, i.e. Odelia day, and so on. On that particular day, we all have to pray for that person, and also remember to say “I love you” and give hugs to that person, especially during Bible time. It is also the day that the particular person has to gather the eggs from the chicken coop as well!

Shoshana As we keep saying “I love you” to that particular person during Bible time, our 2-year-old Shoshana joins in as well. And somehow, what she says is “I CHAI LIU”. That is really funny! Now, “I Chai Liu” becomes our Chan’s way of saying “I love you”. =)

My Little Girls

It was a warm sunny Saturday with a light breeze in the middle of May this year. A perfect day for wedding. I woke up all the girls early in the morning and started preparing for the day. It was 7 hours away from the wedding and I already felt like there was not going to have enough time for everything. Breakfast and lunch needed to be cooked, eaten and cleaned up. Four of my daughters aged 3 to 8 needed to be combed, cleaned, and dressed up for the occasion. And there was also my youngest 1-year-old girl needed to be changed, nursed, and entertained. The church was an hour away, and we had to arrive an hour earlier as four of my girls would be the flower girls.

Oh, did anyone say a wedding is not a stressful thing? And I was not even the one getting married!

Before long, the time was here. I was nervous as I was not sure if my girls could do 100% as told during the ceremony. I kept reminding them the details. However, they did not share a bit of my worry at all. Each of them was so excited and happy. And I must say, each of them was so gorgeous, shinning in that pretty little white dress.

They finally made it down the asile. It was so perfect! And the congregations were all delighted by these four angel like sisters! What a great relief!

I sneaked in the sanctuary with my 1-year-old girl to the front row to join my husband. In the middle of the stage stood my sister, and my soon to be brother-in-law. Yes, a whole new family will soon be born. It is the most sacred moment on earth that one can witness besides the birth of a child!

On the wall, childhood pictures of the bride and groom were projected. There was the little me as well. I could not believe I was here with 5 little daughters today. Time could do so many!

Four GirlsThen I looked at my girls in little white dresses, thinking that they would soon be in big white dresses standing in the middle of the stage…….

Things became watery before my eyes…….

Time flies too fast, I can only pray that God will teach me how to “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6