When you look at this picture, what do you see? Freedom? Getaway? Great Escape? Or feeling relax with a gentle breeze running through your hair? My little girl Viviana (will be 3 in two weeks) sadly said to me last night, “This horse is looking for her mommy and daddy! She’s afraid, she’s all by herself. She’s looking for her mommy and daddy!” We were not talking about any stories at that time. Viviana was just looking at the books by herself, and then she came to me with this picture and the comments.

I was surprised at first by her comments, then I realized me, my hubby and this family, means the whole world to her at this stage of her life. There are people who claim that separation anxiety is caused by the child doesn’t have enough sense of security or the child doesn’t get chances to see enough people in their daily life. It sounds like separation anxiety indicates something is wrong. I always wonder why it would be wrong for a 2 years old child not feeling comfortable when mommy and daddy is not around. Have you ever seen a baby beluga swimming around its mother all the time? Have you ever seen a colt resting happily under its mother or running with her? Have you ever seen a baby sloth just hanging on its mother so tightly no matter where its mother goes? Have you ever seen ducklings following their mother all the time? These are all beautiful pictures of the nature, of this God created world. If there’s anything wrong with separation anxiety, it would be the absence of the parents. And the child is simply expressing his/her needs of “looking for mommy and daddy”, since the child “is afraid, she is all by herself”. Viviana said it all.

When our first born child Tiffany was 2 years old, we tried to enroll her to children Sunday school. She cried when I left the room. That’s normal I believe. Then the teachers and other mothers told me, “it’s OK, she’s OK, just let her cry, it will only be a few minutes. And after a few more times, she will get used to it and enjoy the class.” These comments sound common. I doubted if this is the way to work but I did follow the advice. For a few weeks, the situation did not get better, and Tiffany cried through the whole section until she’s too exhausted and fell asleep. I was frustrated. And the teacher explained to me since my child did not attend day care, thus she’s lack of exposure. And since Odelia was only 1 year old at that time, I must be too busy to give Tiffany enough attention and thus this separation anxiety. I felt bad, as it did sound like I didn’t raise up my child properly like I didn’t put her in a daycare. Therefore, I was determined to find out whether it was a “must” thing for Tiffany to enjoy that Sunday school at that age. Did she really miss something not going to a daycare?

God led me to a few ministries, people and books. I came to realize there’s nothing wrong for a child to cling to his/her parents. It’s a beautiful picture. The child offers his whole heart to his parents to keep from day 1. You should see the response Shoshana (1) has when she sees me walk into her sight. She rejoices with her whole body and face. Parents are where the child’s heart is, therefore, the child has to cling to his parents. Biblically, parents and children have to stay together all the time, In Deuteronomy 6, we are instructed to “And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” So you see, to us, homeschooling is not an option. Some people put their children to babysitters when the baby is not even one yet. I understand that sometimes life is cruel and there’s no choice. But if there’s a choice, please don’t be deceived and believe that the babysitter will raise up your child better than you do. It might seem like the baby eats more when the babysitter feeds her, or the babysitter knows more about toilet training. But she’s not the mother.

Mothers, please put our children’s delicate hearts in a safe precious place, they love to see us with their hearts, they just love us, even when we don’t deserve their love sometimes. Don’t break their hearts. Let the whole beautiful hearts be ready for our children to take them back when their wings are ready to fly, when they know where the Lord wants their hearts to be.