by Debi Pearl
“Discover how God can make your marriage glorious“
Michael and Debi Pearl are the founders of the No Greater Joy Ministries (www.NoGreaterJoy.org). They have been married for 34 years, have 5 married children and a growing number of grandchildren. On the back of the book it says, “Somewhere over the passing years and changing culture, women have lost their way. This book is written to lead them back home. Regardless of how you began your marriage or how dark and lonely the path that has brought you to where you are now, I want you to know that it is possible today to have a marriage so good and so fulfilling that it can only be explained as a miracle.” It is a book that just plainly tells you what the Bible says about how a woman should be…Part I talks about “The Help Meet”
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him…And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam…and he took one of his ribs…And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man” (Genesis 2:18, 21-22)
Part II talks about “Titus 2”
“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5)
This is one of those precious things that you can get for yourself, your family, the one you care….. or as a wedding gift!
Readers’ Reviews:
This book stands alone as THE most godly, accurate, honest, convicting and helpful book (other than the Bible) I have ever been blessed to read. Hallelujah! -ValeriaDebi,
I thank God for you! I’ve read many many books on marriage and have continually struggled with understanding submission. It seemed so gray until I read your book. Now it is crystal clear due to your direct, honest, sincere, earnest, frank, way of communicating truth. Thank you for not sugar coating the word of God. I feel set free and I am reaping beautiful fruit in return already. We’ve been married 16 years and have six children, yet we feel it is just the beginning. -Nancy
I’m starting to read “Created to be his help meet” and I cannot put it down. I’m flying high in my spirit as I read each page dripping with God’s wisdom. It is life-changing; it’s solid; it’s real-life situations. -Lori C
Dear Deb,
Your book Created to be His Help Meet arrive one week ago, and I can honestly say it has saved our marriage. I am so grateful. The change in our home is profound. My husband is so peaceful. We have fallen back in love. When I meet you in heaven, I have a huge hug and kiss of gratitude for you. -Joan K.
Dear Debi,
I wept with joy as I read your book because I knew my unhappy, failing marriage was now saved! I simply did not understand “how” and “what” my role was. I am laughing with pure thanksgiving as I write this note!
My husband is the Pastor of ______, we have been married for 12 years. I know he has been angry and frustrated because of our poor relationship. NOT ANY MORE! He is so happy that he is walking around saying “yum-yum” all day long. If we were not happy it in our marriage—what hope has the average family! THIS IS A MESSAGE WHOSE TIME HAS COME. -Anna
Your book is such an answer to my searching. After 40 years of frustrated marriage, I finally understand and appreciate my Mr. Steady husband. Reading it has been like a stream of living water opened up to me and caused great rejoicing in my heart. -Cindy S.
Excerpts from the book:
(p.126-127)
Queen of the day Here is a letter from a woman who has every human reason for leaving her husband; instead, she goes out of her way to show him reverence. She is showing deference to him as being the Number One Daddy. From years and years of counseling, I can tell you that if ever a woman can win a man’s heart, this lady will. She is my Queen of the Day.Dear Debi,
I don’t have a question, just a very good report! Thank you for telling the truth, for it has set me free. I believe God is the Author and Finisher of my husband’s faith. Shortly after we married, my husband started going to strip clubs and meeting with prostitutes. I know this because when he got too guilty, he would confess. For a while, I really wanted a divorce. I couldn’t see how I could stand it much longer, and everyone agreed with me except one couple. The wife talked to me on Sunday morning about God’s love, and that same morning my pastor taught on love. God put in me a love for my husband, and I am confident that I am in the perfect will of God to stay with him.
He is a good daddy and provider and stands with me on parenting. He has matured so much. He waits until our son is in bed before watching TV. For all of this I am thankful.
Initially, I would cry and verbalize my disappointments of him. “How can I trust you? How do I know what you are doing?” I did not want my son to see me like that all the time, and I know my husband goes through a lot at work. My rantings and bitter face would not make it easy for him to come home to me. I just wanted to love him. He knows already that I wish he would be home more, and he didn’t need to see my daily disappointment.
Our son is convinced that his daddy has the biggest muscles in the world! We do things to help my husband feel loved. We stapled two huge pieces of poster board together and wrote #1 DAD on it and drove to his place of work. We waited until he came out to the parking lot, then held it high so he and everyone else could see how we felt about him. When we got a new phone and I was putting in the memory numbers, my son said “Daddy’s number is number one because he is the #1 Daddy.” My son was not trying to be cute; he really thinks that, of all the men he knows, his daddy is #1.
Please keep us in your prayers. I still struggle some days and just want to wring his neck, but I do believe God is able to help me.
Loving him, Judy
I have to confess that as I typed Judy’s letter into my book, I wept. Judy has turned her heart to God, for only God could have done such a work of grace in a woman. She is reverencing a man who does not deserve it, and in so doing she is reverencing God.
Do you understand that concept by now? She is reverencing God by reverencing her husband, not because her husband is a fit representative of Christ, and not because he is a worthy substitute, but because God placed her in subjection to her husband. And, when it gets humanly ridiculous to obey that lousy man, and when he gives her every reason to not respect him, there is only one controlling factor left—God. This woman is obeying and reverencing God, and no one else. That creep of a husband is the fortunate recipient of honor being given to God. Her faith sees beyond the sinning man to the God who created us all and “so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son…” (John 3:16)
If her faithfulness is never rewarded with a new-birth change in her husband, her commitment will not be wasted, for the grace that God is working in her heart is making her supremely fitted to be the bride of Christ. It is an eternal work taking place in her soul. Her obedience to God, and her willingness to go beyond the extra mile, prevents her husband’s sin from damaging their son. She has covered a multitude of sins with her love and forgiveness (I Peter 4:8)
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(p.277-279)
God Chose a Woman
While Abraham was learning to obey God, Sarah was learning to obey her husband, and God was busy doing miracles for both of them. God chose Sarah as surely as he chose Abraham. It took an obedient woman to become the mother of a great nation…..Abraham married again after Sarah died, yet you never hear anyone mention this wife……….
I know that for Abraham to be the man he was, Sarah had to be a powerful encourager………..Who and what would my husband be if he had married another woman? Have I made it possible for him to be a strong, confident, aggressive man of God? Have I allowed GOD to direct his life and work? Have I appreciated his calling and interests? Have I been a help meet for my man? Is he a better, stronger, more capable man for having had me as his wife? If God were creating the perfect lady for him, would it have been me?
Over the years, I have on many occasions seen what appeared to be a good woman married to a man who seemed to be a worthless, no-account slob. Finally, after years of abuse, the “good” wife divorces her drunken husband, with everyone agreeing that it was the only thing she could do. Within a year, the worthless drunk marries again. A few months after his marriage, he stops drinking—without the aid of a ten-step program—and then spends the rest of his life working steady, enjoying his new family, loving his new wife, and never touching another drop of liquor. I have enough sense to know that some men are addicted to alcohol, porn, and laziness, regardless of their wives, but I have witnessed the above scenario too many times to dismiss it as insignificant. This is by no means advocating divorce and remarriage. Rather, it says that if some “worthless” man had wives who were more __________(you fill in the blank), they would not be so worthless.
God chose this one special man and this one special woman to become the father and mother of a great nation. Sarah wasn’t commended for being a wonderful mother. She spent most of her life motherless, being an old woman before her only son was born, and they she died before Isaac was grown. She was commended because she believed God and called her husband lord. She was the kind of wife God needed to make the kind of man God chose to bring forth a great nation.
God says of Abraham, “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgement…”(Genesis 18:19). Are your children rebellious? Is your home in shambles, and you cannot get help from your husband? Perhaps the problem lies in how you respond to your man. “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (I Peter 3:6)
