A Stay Home Mother

Last week, I shared some of my thoughts on facebook.  I would also like to share these thoughts with my friends who are not on facebook, therefore, I copy and paste them here….  The last section is my husband's response to one of these posts.

"When you are thinking back of how your life had been on your birthdays, that might be a sign of getting old…=)  Well, I didn't do it on purpose (hehe)….but after knowing someone implied that I had never work a day in my life, and do not understand the struggle of money for my family as other working women do….that get me to some thinking…

Have I ever worked? oh well….if a job has to have a paycheck, health benefits, sick leave, vacation time, job description, specific working hours, professional meetings with no one yelling in the background……no, I guess I never work then!  And what a wonderful husband I have!!  That he's able to support our family and I do not need to work!  God, thank you very much =)

At first, I feel a bit sad with a comment like this (the comment is not even pointing at me specifically, silly..)  But then, I realized I am actually very happy and content at this stage of my life, though nights are broken, days are swirling..

Oooops, just got a call from one of my clients, Mr Joshua, maybe I should find a chance to explain to him what vacation time means!! =)"


Another one :

"I'm so moved by what Josh Romney said about his mother after his mother was being attacked by the words 'never worked a day in her life'! 

He tweeted, “@AnnDRomney“ is one of the smartest, hardest working woman I know, could have done anything with her life, chose to raise me.”

Isn't this such a beautiful picture as said in Proverbs 31:28,

"Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her."

All mothers who chooses to raise her own children, be encouraged!!"


My husband's response :

"For thousands of years in human history, father and mother always have distinct roles in the home.  Different but equally important roles. In Scripture, God commands man to be the leader, protector and provider of the home; while woman to be the help meet of her husband, caretaker of the young children and homemaker.  If we observe tribal villages around the around throughout history, it is amazing that most people groups follow the biblical pattern. Indeed, the tribal groups may not enjoy the IPAD or xBox of civilized world, but they have emotionally stable children, closer family relationship and much lower divorce rate.

When industrialization and feminism were introduced, mothers started to enter the workforce en mass.  The society praises this phenomenon as “more productive”, “women liberation from the bondage of home” and “women equal to men”.  However, we observe our modern society now has very high divorce rate, broken family relationship, less children and more violent and disrespectful young generation.  Who’s to be blamed?  Both father and mother are responsible.

Men had abandoned their God-ordained leadership roles and pursued their career and hobbies, rather than spending time with their wives and children.  Women had abandoned their God-ordained homemaker roles and chose to work outside and leave their young children to daycares and public schools.  They have fallen into traps of thinking that they NEED the double income.  But the reality is that they have assumed a large mortgage or debt, pursued the latest gadgets and refused to live a simple and frugal lifestyle.  I can give personal witness, together with other homeschool families, that we have always live on SINGLE income. And we have on average 4-5 children, more than double the national average of 2.1.

I am so grateful to God that my wife Kay chose to stay home and raise our children.  She holds double degrees (technically 1.5) of computer science and integrated media.  Giving her creativity and talent, she could have made a 6-figure salary after 20 years in the field.  Instead, she spent her days and nights changing diapers, cooking, sewing, teaching and feeding the next generation.  What Kay is doing is 100 times more important than my job.  She is molding and training the next generation for God in this dark world.  Without her sacrifice, our children stand a slim chance against the secular worldview.  What’s more important, she is submitting to God’s will and plan on a family.

I do not condemn women who choose to leave home and work.  There are situations where the mother has to work outside and she is to be respected if she holds a hard and honest job. However, I believe we have to consider these 2 scenarios:

1. Double income.  More materials and more debts.  Less time as a family. Broken relationship between husband and wife.  Broken relationship between parents and children.

2. Single income.  Less “stuff” and no debts.  More time as a family.  Healthy relationship with everyone in the family.  More creative because of less resources.

Do you get the picture?  Mother who works outside is torn between 2 worlds.  She has to please her boss as well as taking care of the children.  In the end, she has to choose one over the other; or become bitter and frustrated because it is impossible to “serve 2 masters”.  I wish mothers everywhere would listen to God and consider their “career path” more carefully.

It is true that she does not manage a multi-million-dollar project.  It is true that she does not manage a team of 20 professionals.  It is also true that she does not have pension, benefit, vacation and all the perks a “professional” woman enjoy.  It is true that she does not get invited to company functions or “important” conferences.  But it is also true that her children and husband rise up and call her “blessed”.  It is also true that on the Day of Judgement, God is going to give her a reward, a crown of glory to show the whole world that she has obeyed the Lord by being a mother who “hasn’t worked a day in her life”."

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